Sisters and Brothers, I Have A Special Announcement

A TALE OF TWO VIDEO CREATORS

She was very nice to me, a very warm person. And in my hiatus after Geek Wisdom ended, I had lost a great many people who supported me before. So I guess you could say I was impressed by encountering such a warm soul. And without inquiring further, I assumed that we were similar as creators as well. Then I began to notice the differences between us.

She was definitely a nice-looking person, and she definitely knew it. She made sure her makeup and hair were always on point in her videos, no matter how short the videos were. And she knew how to use halter tops and camera angles to her advantage; she would give off the impression of being topless while still wearing a top. But I still believed we had so much in common.

I was having trouble watching her videos in their entirety because of their length so I asked if she would consider posting them in parts (which, creators back me up on this, would have taken her minutes to do). That's when she told me about her video creating philosophy. I will use actual quotations from her, as long as they cannot be used to identify her: "Being a [video creator] Tanya and doing what an audience wants is like being Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Too hot, too cold...Like I always say I am a [video creator] for myself first...Like I say in this live show...public opinion doesn't affect me or what I do at all and never will..."

Shocked and realizing I was ready to walk away, I sent her one final comment, my last words to someone who I once described as a "warm soul". I knew I would never see her like that again. "Okay. I am a very different [video creator]. I have not had an easy life so far so I like to bring smiles to people's faces when I can, and enjoyment of my channel for however many people watch it. My channels is entertainment for others. My enjoyment comes from adding happiness to the lives of others. I would not reap nearly as many benefits from doing this if I was focused on myself all the time. Clearly we are very different people. Best of luck with your channel. I hope you can appreciate what I have shared here someday." And then I was gone.

TANYA SINGS Fast Car ft iam ALEX

WHY WILL SASSO DESERVED KING OF QUEENS

I truly believe that the head honchos at King Of Queens made a huge mistake roughly 19 years ago. And the more I learn about Kevin James and the way he spits on everyone, the more convinced I am that the role of Doug Heffernan should have gone to MadTV veteran Will Sasso.

Age In 1998 when King Of Queens first aired, Will Sasso would have been an energetic 23. Kevin James was already 33 years old. Even those figures alone would indicate that Will would have more stamina and be better able to keep up with the multiple series' and movies in his future. Don't think it matters? Kevin James, on another series now entitled Kevin Can Wait, seems to only have the energy to push out a sad King Of Queens reboot.

Memorable Roles Quick - name a role that Kevin James had before King Of Queens aside from his very occasional appearance on Everybody Loves Raymond! That's right - nothing. If it weren't for Ray Romano, you may not even know who Kevin James is today. Or care. Will on the other hand was part of the sketch comedy show MadTV where he had the opportunity to play some very memorable characters - an alcoholic Kenny Rogers, an accident-prone handyman named Paul Hinterman, and of course Steven Seagal. And that's just to name a few.

Fan Treatment This is a picture that Will Sasso posted on Twitter showing him with some fans of his. You'll notice who is taking the picture - it's Will. It would be great if I could post a similar picture of Kevin James with his fans, but he wants nothing to do with them. He doesn't want them to look at him, talk directly to him, and especially not ask him for a picture or an autograph. I don't know when Kevin James decided he was such a delicate genius and so far above speaking to the people who helped him to get to where he is today. Especially since if it were up to some of us, he wouldn't be there at all.

5 TYPES OF PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE

I really do try to be tolerant of other people's quirks, but sometimes I just can't. And there are certain people I try to stay away from under any circumstances. I have broken them down into groups so you can see what I am talking about.

Fake people. I don't like fake people and I don't like letting myself get taken in by their little act. The best quotation I read about fake people was that if people gossip to you then they will also gossip about you to others. While I am not a superhero or villain, I still like to keep certain parts of my life quiet. Fake people can be gone at a moment's notice. Or they will ignore you all of a sudden until you walk away. Either way they can't be trusted.

Unsolicited advice givers. This has been a pet peeve of mine for decades. I also call them the "you should" people, because whether they are asked for their opinion or not, they want to be the ones to tell you what you should do in that situation. If I don't specifically ask for advice, keep your yap shut. I will let you know if I require your wisdom, trust me. 

Social Media Stepford Wives These people freak me out, with their posts about a perfect life with a perfect husband and perfect children. They also make me gag. No one should have to go through life thinking that they will be accepted by their peers only if they are perfect. And no one should have to read this crap on their Facebook wall. Try being human for a change. You may actually like it.

Person who cannot deal with a dissenting opinion from anyone. Needless to say, I had a crash course in this during the campaign run in the US last year. People actually unfriended me over my political opinions. Glad to see that the 28 years you knew me meant so much to you.

Compulsive liars. This category can sometimes be very similar to the Social Media Stepford Wives, or it can be a category all its own. I hate being lied to. The one thing worse than being lied to is a person who lies and then doesn't own up to it when you catch them lying. I don't see a need to lie, but if you feel compelled to lie to me for whatever reason, then I should really be on my way. There's another sucker around the corner waiting to feast on your b.s.

BORG-A-PALOOZA

I don't know what made me do it, but at least I am keeping a sense of humor about it. And now I have that ridiculous song running through my head, as it will likely do for my viewers tomorrow. Why does freedom so often feel the same as oppression? I don't know. Maybe in the course of writing this post I can figure that out.

Yes, that's me. The filter makes me look almost celestial and when I open my mouth to sing, that really seals the deal. The only problem is this: that is not my voice. I would classify my actual singing voice as "fair". I don't think it's something I could ever do professionally and I am fine with that. I just enjoy singing. It's something I indulge in daily.

I used to enjoy singing a lot more before someone on Facebook who I thought was a friend (for years) bashed my singing on a public page. Now obviously I know I am not a professional singer. And I certainly don't force anyone to listen to my songs. But he went out of his way to make me feel awful. Needless to say I have blocked him, but I cannot seem to forget criticism from anyone. Especially if I am blindsided by a "friend". So I made a change today, one I am still not sure about.

To put it nicely, I am using different effects for my solo songs. To put it crudely, I am auto-tuning the crap out of it. And this is not like me at all. And yet, here I am, trying to justify the high notes people will notice I hit on Lesley Gore's song "You Don't Own Me". Basically I used a filter that people feel compelled to use when their own voice just doesn't seem to be cutting it. But this is new and I may actually return to my normal voice in recordings. But if this means I won't be insulted because of my singing voice, I'll be whoever you want me to be.

THREE TIMES I REALLY LIKED MIKE

All In The Family (1971-1979) was a sitcom about a loudmouthed bigot, his family, friends an neighbors. When the show first aired, there was a lot of backlash from people who did not care for the lead character, Archie Bunker, and the things that he said about minorities, women, etc. Archie lived with his wife Edith, daughter Gloria and son-in-law Mike Stivic. I could probably write a series of blogs all about the ways in which the character of Archie angered people, both in the show itself as well as the viewing public. But for this blog post, I want to focus on his son-in-law Mike. Because for me, he was more obnoxious and arrogant than Archie could ever be.

When the series first began, I wasn't even born yet. But I grew up watching reruns, and saw the way in which Archie yelled at and insulted other people. But it would be years before the character of Mike became really significant in my mind. And as I grew older I realized I didn't like Mike one bit. He was just as loud as Archie and was condescending to everyone around him, thinking he was more intelligent and socially aware than anyone. To this day I can visualize how many times I would have turfed him out on his butt if I were Archie and Edith. Did I ever like him? Yes. I liked him a grand total of three times during the series.

1. Edith's Crisis of Faith During Season 8, a two-part episode was featured in which Edith lost a very dear friend who was a drag queen performer. She had always been very religious and could not reconcile her faith in God with the fact that her friend was now deceased. Mike, an atheist, was the one who ultimately helped Edith regain her faith in God by telling her that maybe we are not meant to understand everything that happens to us.

2. Christmas In California During the show's run, Mike got a job offer in California and moved his young family out there to live. By the time Christmas rolled around, however, Mike and Gloria were already separated. When Archie and Edith came to visit them for the holidays, Gloria asked Mike to come home temporarily to keep up the pretense that they were still together, which Mike did. And even when the truth came out and Archie was screaming at him, Mike refused to admit that is it was Gloria, not he, who was having an affair with one of his colleagues.

3. Archie and Mike Locked In A Storage Room When Archie and Mike were locked in a storage room at Archie's bar on a cold wintry night, they kept warm by huddling together and drinking. As Archie became more inebriated, he told Mike about his childhood and his experiences with his own father. For once, Mike let Archie talk without interrupting him or putting him down in any way. And when Archie finally passed out on the floor, Mike covered him up with a tarp they had been using for warmth as he said goodnight to him using a childhood nickname Archie admitted to having.

As much as Mike preached about peace, love and tolerance for his fellow man, he fell short of that at least as often as Archie, maybe even more so. But what Mike can teach all of us is that is that brand of tolerance exists in everyone, even if we rarely get to see it.

LET'S PLAY - AND TALK

I don't like silence. Certainly it is a part of life and there are times when it makes sense to just stay quiet and wait. But if I am watching someone do a gaming video (a "let's play"), I want to hear something from them other than the clicking of keys that is necessary for their next move. I want to know you are having a good time.

There are times during a video game that are less than enthralling. During those times it becomes even more important to engage the viewer. And I think that is what makes the difference between a successful gaming channel and one that is not watched regularly. And then there are channels like mine, which offer a smorgasbord of different types of videos, only to sneak gaming in there nonchalantly when the opportunity presented itself.

This is the thumbnail to one of my gaming videos. And although I am not even close to the likes of manic-sounding PewDiePie, I like to think I offer the viewer a reason to watch the video. And more importantly, I try to offer a reason for them to come back. This is the biggest challenge of video creators. And I have no problem getting blown up in order to do it.

LAUGHING MY BUTTHURT AWAY

People learn some things when they are kids, like their alphabet and the colors of the rainbow. And some you learn when you are 42 and just tired of being angry and shocked by people who are just as fed up with things as you are. They just found a different way to express it.

'If someone triggers me, it is their problem, not mine.' No it isn't. It's your problem for not being an adult and saying, people are different. That's it. Live and let live. If you want 76 genders and purple hair and people are supposed to accept that but you can't accept a drawing of a cartoon frog, you're the one with the problem. I will freely admit I am not in a position to act as a moral authority. Trust. Me. So why can't you?

'If I see or hear something I don't like, I have to say something.' Why? For what purpose? Now you're being exactly what you are accusing the Kekistani of being - intolerant. Do you really want to be a hypocrite your whole damn life?

Sure, there are things I read that I don't like. There are words and ideas that I am not comfortable with. Thing is, they are just words. And if I let myself get butthurt over them, I am the one who has given them power. I am the one who needs to adjust, to learn to walk away.

19 SINS AND COUNTING

Formerly 17 Kids and Counting and 18 Kids and Counting, 19 Kids and Counting was a reality show that aired on the TLC network for seven years until its cancellation in 2015. The show featured The Duggar family: parents Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar and their 17 kids, which grew to 19 kids during the show's run. They were successful for quite some time, as reality shows go. So what went wrong?

Ostensibly, Josh Duggar was what went wrong for the Duggars and their highly-successful series. First, the news was leaked that Josh molested at least five young girls when he, too, was a youth - at least four of whom were his sisters. This was not information disclosed by the Duggars. In their mind, they responded in the best way possible. They sent Josh to a Bible-based rehab, and felt that the problem was handled well and now was solved. The Duggar girls never got counseling. 

Shortly after that, another big story broke - when the Ashley Madison accounts were leaked, Josh's name was leaked with them. Ashley Madison is a website for married people that want to hook up with other married people for "discreet encounters". I didn't pity him at all. He has made some very poor choices in life and now it was time to face the music. I felt bad for his wife Anna, who was pregnant at the time of this latest reveal. Apparently her family wanted her to come home and bring her children with her but she refused. I would not be surprised if the Duggar family was putting pressure on her and watching her like a hawk to make sure she wouldn't get any fancy ideas into her head, like maybe she deserved better than Josh Duggar.

If Josh's exposure teaches us anything it should be that Jim-Bob and Michelle's parenting style is nothing to be admired. This idea of the role of females throughout their lives (to support, to obey, to submit themselves for their husband's gratification whenever he is ready) is very sad indeed. And the fact that it works for some females is great, go for it. But some women want more out of life than being told how to live by a man who is in charge of his own destiny. And hers. And the kids. Some women want to embrace life - not merely as someone's wife, but as a full-fledged individual, in charge of her own destiny.

DECONSTRUCTING NEW YORK

This blog post was a long time coming. Tiffany 'New York' Pollard was the stand-out female in both Flavor of Love & Flavor of Love 2. The first series aired in 2006 and Flavor Flav did not waste any time inviting yet another 20 girls with questionable motives to live with him in Flavor of Love 2. I should have done this 11 years ago, but it would be a long time before I even thought about having a blog. Long story short, I think Flav made a huge mistake in choosing Nicole 'Hoopz' Alexander over New York in season 1.

Even though New York was just this side of full-on nuts, nobody could deny her devotion to 'her man' Flavor Flav. And although she went on to have other reality shows (such as 'I Love New York 1 & 2') she was never the same after getting thrown over by Flavor Flav in season 1 of the show that started it all.

It was too soon for New York to return for season 2, even if it was originally just going to be a guest appearance. I think the heartbreak was still raw, and she had an edge to her that hadn't been there in the first season. And when she let Flav know (just before the elimination) that she would be the one running the show in terms of his whole life, including finances, I knew she would not be the last one standing. 

Fast-forward 11 years. Her appearance has changed, everything has changed. I still think Flavor Flav should have chosen her, at least in the second season, if not the first. But that's what the biggest lesson of heartbreak brings: the realization that we will never be that open again. We will never be hurt so deeply ever again.