Welcome To Five Minutes You Will Never Get Back

Hello, and welcome to the very first instalment to a blog that is determined to push the envelope, Amish Drive-By. The reason for the name is simple. This is about my dreams and my life as a blogger dealing with chronic pain and illness on a daily basis. This makes everything harder, including relationships with friends and family, which in turn makes me ruthless. It's a vicious cycle. But I am determined to achieve a happy and fulfilling life, even though it may take me a lot longer. Even though I may make more than my share of enemies along the way. But first, an introduction.

My name is Tanya Mills and I am 39 years old. Mills is not my maiden name, not even close. Mills is the surname of my second husband, a marriage that has more or less fallen apart too. I don't seem to be very good at the "wife" thing, not sure why. I know I am hard to love but when I love, I love hard. True to my Scorpio sign, I am a very intense person, but lately I have become more aloof. A series of failed friendships has produced in me a jaded outlook towards human interaction in general. The failed marriages don't help either. Then there's my family. Or rather, there isn't. But that's a different story.

Then we have the illnesses I deal with on a daily basis, both physical and mental. Most of my physical ailments fall under the umbrella known as fibromyalgia. And if you know anything about fibromyalgia you are aware of how widespread the symptoms can be and the facts that it is a progressive illness. I also struggle with mental illness, as I mentioned before. That can best be summed up as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder with a flair, because I don't do anything simply or halfway.

I have a YouTube channel but as I have become more reclusive, I have stopped being on video as much. I love to sing, though. I am not a wonderful singer, but I don't care. Nobody has to listen if they don't want to, except for my neighbours. It helps me with stress and muscle stiffness, so there has to be something to it.

And that's me in a nutshell. If I were, in fact, a large nut. This is still open for debate.