HE CALLED ME "GARCIA"

I have heard people say that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. But they never mention how difficult it is to ascertain which purpose matched which person. I have certainly had my experiences with people who became something very different than I thought at the beginning. Surely he could be counted in this group. 

I met him on DeviantArt, somewhere one is not expecting trolls. Pretty much everyone else there is an artist themselves and trying to showcase some of their work online. On that site it is very commonplace to be respectful of what other people post, hoping that they will be respectful of yours as well. So I didn't understand what he was doing there at first. He did not seem to post anything other than pictures and memes he found, and not for the purposes of showcasing some type of photo manipulation. I was certain I was dealing with yet another troll, albeit on a very unlikely site. 

On DeviantArt we don't have "subscribers" or "followers"; we have "watchers". He became a watcher of mine very early on when I joined about a year ago. As is my custom, I became his in return. He commented frequently on my art; and in return, I ignored his contributions most of the time. I was there to see artwork, not memes. And I didn't want to go out of my way to deal with someone who was clearly there to be a troll. 

I found the above meme just now when I did a search of his username on Google. He also wrote status updates at least a few times daily which, as his watcher, I would also see. He was very funny and he would recognize the silliness in me if it presented itself. I think he appreciated that side of me more than most people. Somewhere along the way he started calling me "Garcia" but he never explained why. Probably just another trolling thing, I thought. 

Days became weeks, then months. I was becoming less apprehensive about dealing with him. Sometimes I would post links to videos or things from other sites and I would tag him, knowing that only he would appreciate the humor within. And then a few days ago, I had a notification that he had sent me a note. Confused, I clicked on it. "I have really enjoyed our time together.  You are gifted and intelligent and funny.  I hope you can find comfort in your skin and love yourself.  You deserve love and comfort." I was confused and worried. It seemed so final. I replied "There have been days for me (as for everyone) when I thought I couldn't smile at all. Then I would read a comment of yours and life would look less bleak. Thank you for your gifts of parody and satire. It has meant a lot to me. You're not leaving DA are you?"

There was no reply. No more status updates. No more memes. I even went to check his page and he was definitely not there. However I noticed that in his comments section, he responded warmly to people who reached out to him. There was no evidence of trolling at all. I think I am going to post a link to this blog on my page. Maybe he'll come back and see it and I can be "Garcia" again like before. Or maybe he'll just come back and I will get another chance to truly appreciate what he brought to my life. And maybe this time I won't mess it up.