FOR THOSE WHO GRIEVE ON MOTHER'S DAY...

Sunday is Mother's Day. Many people are planning a special day with their child(ren) or their own mother (or maternal figure). They may have already picked out a card and a small yet meaningful gift. And then there are those of us who are just trying to hang on until the day after Mother's Day. For some of us, it is a day full of bittersweet memories and renewed grief for that person who is no longer there.

Grief is a horrible thing to experience, and I truly believe that the loss of a child (whether through death or estrangement) can be the toughest pain of all. Either way, we can no longer hold that child who used to be so small, who would curl up on our laps and feel so content. "Mommy" knew everything, and "Mommy" would always be there. We are still there, but that lap is cold now, and nothing can make that cold go away. I think I will be avoiding certain social media sites on Sunday. I don't want to see the happy faces of the children who still stand beside their mother as they wish her Happy Mother's Day. And it's not that I want anyone else to feel this pain; it will just hurt too badly that day.

And then there is the pain of losing one's mother. This can also happen through death or estrangement. Either way, you spend Mother's Day feeling as though something is missing. All those years of celebrating not just Mother's Days but holidays and birthdays as well; it's such an important bond and when it is gone, nothing can replace it. And if you were unlucky enough to have a mother that was distant or abusive, the pain is still there, and the bewilderment as you stare into the mirror thinking simply Why me?

But eventually the day will end, and we will try to move on with our lives. We will try to focus on what we have, rather than the cracks in our hearts that will never heal. But on Sunday, be kind to yourself as much as possible. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up. We are a shattered and raggedy army that marches through this world with a special pain. But we will keep marching forward, and that is a strength we can be proud of.