FACING MY FEARS

Yesterday I posted a video of me watching an American Idol contestant defecate all over a Madonna song. I made some really weird faces and my husband laughed and laughed. So I thought that if it was that entertaining, why not post it online? So I handed him my Canon with the optical zoom and basically reenacted exactly what I did just before we began filming. I am usually not a fan of seeing myself looking overly big on camera. I loved it!!! I looked so weird it made me laugh. 

It is not that I don't have a sense of humor about my appearance; but usually only if the joke comes from me. This makes the internet the wrong place for me entirely. Except that it's not. I love posting things online and communicating with people from all over the world. I thought that if I could just get my head around the trolling aspect of it, things would be much better. So that's what I did this morning because, hey, no time like the present. 

My first stop was Reddit. I wanted to find some high-end trolls who would really do a number on my video. Nothing. Instead I got an email saying I didn't have enough "karma points" to post anything. Let's leave aside for a moment the irony that Reddit gives out "karma points". I am not sitting there for a few hours commenting on links and watching videos for what may very well end up being a non-result. Scratch that one off my list.

Then I was ready to take on 4chan. Unlike Reddit, I had never been on 4chan's website before, and I found it very amusing that they tried so hard to make it look like some luxury hotel even though it was a motel with crusty bed sheets. So I played their game. Under the category of "Random", I posted my picture and said, "This is me. What do you think?" Would you believe I only got one answer before my post was "pruned or deleted" according to some helpful bot. I was frustrated but beneath the frustration I knew that my relationship to trolls would never be the same again. I had faced my fear and came out on top. I would recommend this exercise to anyone. Shows you who the strong one really is.