Friday, 30 June 2017


There is no guide to YouTube etiquette. There is also no guide to what will piss another creator off enough to flag your video. Or how you can get enough views to get monetized. Because right now it looks like I won't be monetized any time this calendar year.

The problem is that I think like an old YouTuber. You know, the YouTube before everything changed, back when it was a community. To me, we are all supposed to be a community and help each other out. Problem is, that's not what I am faced with anymore. The creators who "made it" don't deal with the peons who look up to them. At least that's been my experience these past few days.

I don't want to end up blacklisted by YouTube. As much as I whine about the things that are broken, I do enjoy posting my videos here, and this will always feel more like video-creating "home" more than anything else. So I asked permission of two creators to do a compilation of some of their material. Well, the first one didn't answer me but he could be busy. The second one hasn't answered me, but I am sure it's just a matter of time. YouTube is rife with compilation videos. Does no one else ask permission, especially if it's about a specific person? Do I look like an asshole right now? <sigh> Back to the drawing board.

Wednesday, 28 June 2017


Last night I decided a good use of my time would be to binge-watch Flavor Of Love: Charm School. If you are fortunate enough not to know the Flavor Of Love saga, Flavor Flav (Public Enemy hype man himself) decided he wanted to find love. So he invited 20 girls who he did not know whatsoever to live with him and he would decide which if them he could see "forever" with. There were challenges, ridiculous cat fights and some really strange characters. In the end he picked a lady who he felt he could spend his life with. But that didn't work out so he repeated it. Then he repeated it again. In the end he ended up with someone else entirely. I am sure there's a moral in that story, but I am not exactly sure what it is. And that led to Flavor Of Love: Charm School.

This show has nothing to do with Flavor Of Love, other than the name and the fact that all of these ladies (or most of them) began their VH1 reality-show journey with Flav. I heard Flavor Of Love (original series) described as "the most ratchet reality show ever". I think that's fair. If you watched it you certainly saw more than your share of spitting, fighting, backstabbing, etc. Hence the need for a charm school series. 

I am about six episodes in and I only started this last night. Why am I so captivated by people who seem like their yearbook quote in their senior year would be "Bitch, I might be..."? They are so different from anything I would have ever been in my 20s. I guess in that way it's a liberating thing. I may not have been the one spitting in New York's face like Pumkin did at an elimination ceremony, but I looked on in wonderment. And maybe I could be more like these women if I could let go a little more and somehow press pause on my endless need for approval. But could I ever be the one to hide someone's clothes right before an important ceremony? Bitch, I might be...

Tuesday, 27 June 2017


I don't have a whole lot of people coming forward for shoutouts for their video channels as of yet. I think I have a theory about this: many creators don't want to ask. They want the shoutouts to happen because they have "earned" it in a sense. But who is the judge of that? Me? what if I don't want that kind of responsibility? 

Quite often channels, whether on YouTube or Vidme, are not always so easily noticed by others in the community. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve a shoutout; they might deserve a shoutout even more than another person who finds it easier to step forward and request a shoutout directly. So I propose a solution to this problem.

I am going to keep my eyes open. I will be somewhat of a detective and find the channels I wish to give shoutouts to, even though they may not have asked for one. People can still request shoutouts from me, but I also pledge to honor those like me, who may feel funny about coming forward and asking for a shoutout. So if you don't feel right about asking for a shoutout, hang in there. I am already out there looking for you.

Sunday, 25 June 2017


This was a thumbnail for one of my videos. And it is almost true. Well, the "dyed my hair" part is true. I made this video to prove a point. The point was that these "story time" vloggers who create these ridiculous tales about things that happen in their everyday lives get more views for something I find quite sinister - lying to their audience. Guess what, though? It worked like a charm.

I actually had two people who I consider friends offering me their sympathy and condolences for my harrowing encounter with the Chinese Mafia. I should have been enjoying my success with this bold-faced lie. All I could feel was guilt for having duped them. And yet, a new feeling emerged when I looked at my view count.

My lying, conniving video, even though I ended up putting the word "satire" after the title, is still sitting at Number Two, just a hair away from the Number One spot (thank you Brony enthusiasts btw). A very close friend of mine said that I am "too respectable" for this type of thing, when I told him I hated the guilt of lying to others, especially my viewers. Or am I? As I am writing this, I am mulling this idea over: What if I had a Story Time series? That wouldn't be such a bad idea. Or would it?

Friday, 23 June 2017


I posted a video the other night, and another YouTube creator posted her video roughly ten minutes later. The difference? I was stuck at one view while she was at 16 views after 5 minutes. I looked at her, looked at me and came to a stark realization: I cannot compete with her.

And while she was not Pink, she was at least that pretty. I know I am obese, but at one time I wasn't - and I still didn't look like that. I had bad luck genetics-wise. I kept thinking I will never have more of an audience than I do right now, I should just quit while I'm ahead. And then there was laughter.

I was just talking to my husband like I always do, and he laughed because of a silly face I made. Then it occurred to me - I needed to play to my own strengths, not someone else's. So that's what I began doing - being more of myself in my videos and see what happens. I have not had an overwhelming response yet, but I know these things take time. And at least now I am doing videos that are 100% me, and not the "me" I try to be in order to please others.

Thursday, 22 June 2017


Yesterday I posted a video of me watching an American Idol contestant defecate all over a Madonna song. I made some really weird faces and my husband laughed and laughed. So I thought that if it was that entertaining, why not post it online? So I handed him my Canon with the optical zoom and basically reenacted exactly what I did just before we began filming. I am usually not a fan of seeing myself looking overly big on camera. I loved it!!! I looked so weird it made me laugh. 

It is not that I don't have a sense of humor about my appearance; but usually only if the joke comes from me. This makes the internet the wrong place for me entirely. Except that it's not. I love posting things online and communicating with people from all over the world. I thought that if I could just get my head around the trolling aspect of it, things would be much better. So that's what I did this morning because, hey, no time like the present. 

My first stop was Reddit. I wanted to find some high-end trolls who would really do a number on my video. Nothing. Instead I got an email saying I didn't have enough "karma points" to post anything. Let's leave aside for a moment the irony that Reddit gives out "karma points". I am not sitting there for a few hours commenting on links and watching videos for what may very well end up being a non-result. Scratch that one off my list.

Then I was ready to take on 4chan. Unlike Reddit, I had never been on 4chan's website before, and I found it very amusing that they tried so hard to make it look like some luxury hotel even though it was a motel with crusty bed sheets. So I played their game. Under the category of "Random", I posted my picture and said, "This is me. What do you think?" Would you believe I only got one answer before my post was "pruned or deleted" according to some helpful bot. I was frustrated but beneath the frustration I knew that my relationship to trolls would never be the same again. I had faced my fear and came out on top. I would recommend this exercise to anyone. Shows you who the strong one really is.

Wednesday, 21 June 2017


This should be a fairly short blog post. I have no theory about Onision really. I know his real name is Greg, and that ends the knowledge I have of him. The rest is just hearsay. And that's my point. 

Onision seems to be one of those YouTube creators that people love to hate. People gossip about him, throw shade his way, and when he responds in kind, he is the asshole in the situation. I am not saying he is a saint. I am sure he has his shortcomings just like everyone else. I am also sure that the creators who want to call him out are really just looking for more subs. And so they use his notoriety to achieve that. In the process all kinds of negative drama is created on YouTube for no good reason.

I wouldn't smile much either if I were him. I am not a fan of his by any means, but it's every day with this crap. Think I never had an issue with any other YouTube creators? Yes, of course I have. In some cases the issues have carried forward until today. But I refuse to use my channel, as small a voice as it is, to create drama like this just for views and subs. As I said in an email to a very close friend (and fellow YouTube creator) recently, "I would rather have ten honest subs than a ton of dishonest ones." We need more positivity on social media, as well as life in general. And if you are a believer in karma, you are only hurting yourself in the end. 

Tuesday, 20 June 2017


I really appreciate you taking the time to read this, and I want to give you a gift. I will be doing weekly shoutouts for YouTube and Vidme for as long as I have channels to shout out. Do you have a YouTube or Vidme channel? Would you like more followers?

My shoutouts are not just your channel name being mentioned. I will personalize every single shoutout by reviewing your channel in advance to learn what makes it special and why people should subscribe/follow you. Channels need decent shoutouts if they are to be any kind of help at all to the creator. Get in touch with me on YouTube or Vidme. Let me help you increase the traffic to your channel.

Watch my shoutout request here

Monday, 19 June 2017


Growing up I had a lot of bread. My parents came from Central Europe. Anything and everything came in some type of sauce. We would have these loaves of French and Italian bread cut in thick slices with every meal. If there was any left over, my mother would say, "Help your father finish the bread. I don't want to have to put two slices back in the bag." And there I went, sopping up the sauce with the thick, fluffy bread. Sounds good, doesn't it? 

It wasn't. I spent far too much time feeling sick and running to the bathroom as a youth. My parents would think I was eating junk food on the sly, but that wasn't it. It was the bread. And the oil. And the copious amounts of pasta which would make an appearance at least two times a week. This pattern is continuing even into my 40s, which really sucks. It also sucks that the very things I crave, the foods I enjoy the most, are my lifelong enemies.

And although I am stubborn to a fault, I am forced to admit that bread and the like give me serious digestive upset. And it seems to be getting worse as I get older. I guess I will have to just try and console myself with fewer stomach problems and my will to try and be healthier. Damn it. 

Sunday, 18 June 2017


I am feeling guilt over something that really doesn't matter at all. I made a video yesterday that you can see here where I gave other YouTubers shoutouts. I have done shoutouts for years. I do it to give smaller channels a bit more traffic, and give recognition to channels that I feel deserve it. So why do I feel guilty?

In the past my shoutouts definitely had a pattern to them: I would shout out friends (or at least damn good acquaintances). Don't get me wrong - I would never shout out channels I did not enjoy. It was just a very small roster I would pick from. Then I went to Vidme.

On Vidme I knew no one. So if I wanted to do a shoutout, I had to view the channel with different criteria and without the friendship bias involved. In the process I discovered some interesting content and made some new friends. My shoutouts were better because of this, and I felt prouder of them in return. So when I returned to YouTube I wanted to continue this practice of discovering some new channels and shouting them out instead. 

And the video went really well and I am happy with the final product. Even though I apologized at least twice to the people who might have expected to be shouted out, I still felt bad. Guilt is such a dumb thing. It's kind of like a wasp - yeah, we know you don't do much but we'll keep you around anyway.

Saturday, 17 June 2017


This blog post is the second part of a blog topic I started here about this YouTube versus Vidme issue that seems to be causing quite a stir lately, for some reason. Here are some more reasons why Vidme is the yappy little chihuahua trying to assert its influence with a rottweiler we'll affectionately refer to as YouTube.

Site Layout This is especially important if you are a creator - or if you stand any chance of being able to explore the site in a user-friendly way. Vidme's layout mimics that of a computer project submitted by a 13 year-old. And not even an especially bright 13 year-old at that. Don't believe me? Try to search for a particular channel or a type of video on Vidme. You get about two letters in to your request, and the Vidme search engine has already decided you are done typing now. All of these channels, many of which seem like they are named after the product codes at Best Buy, pop up as well as some video thumbnails you have absolutely no interest in. Serious frustration.

Analytics Long story short, they exist on YouTube. They don't on Vidme. You want to get a better understanding of how your video is performing on Vidme? Look at the upvotes and the views, dumbass. And leave us alone. We're making another video about how everyone is dumber than us. And yes, those are the head honchos.

Community Where do I begin? There are very decent people on Vidme, who I feel bad for daily because I have seen what else is there. Much like Minds, it is a site run by and for internet trolls essentially. And this is why they are always looking for some sort of bullshit fight - be it with other people on Vidme, or with the YouTube community at large. I am not saying that YouTube is perfect in this regard, but when you encounter a troll on YouTube, you realize that the ratio of trolls to sane people is very different. The above picture is a thumbnail from a video complaining about our Keemstar because he had the audacity to compare Vidme to an 8 year-old's birthday party. While I agree with him to some extent, I would add a clown with a machine gun into the mix. And that's why YouTube is not going anywhere (certainly not any time soon).  We have better things to do than pick a fight with a video sharing site who is constantly out to prove how irrelevant they really are.

Friday, 16 June 2017


As someone who has spent a great deal of time on both platforms I feel very capable of discussing the differences between these two video sharing sites. Let me start off by saying that the whole idea of this debate is kind of pointless. It is like two kids arguing about who would win in a fight, Batman versus Superman. This confrontation will likely remain in the hypothetical. And lets face it - we all know Batman kicks ass. So here are some actual ways I have used (here and in my own mind) to compare the two sites.

Popularity This is one aspect of this debate where Vidme proponents will often try to claim that YouTube has an unfair advantage. YouTube has been around for a lot longer, it's bigger, of course people will gravitate towards that. Sure, this is true to some degree, but just look at the videos on both platforms. Just look. I don't know, maybe the creators are more motivated on YouTube to create better videos because it is a much bigger entity and in order to be seen, your videos have to be that much better. And to go viral - your videos have to be damn near professional. And that is all on the creators, not the site. The length of time YouTube has been around has next-to-nothing to do with it. For seniority to be a factor, you'd have to call foul because of videos like "Charlie Bit My Finger" and why they are trending to this day.

Monetization While YouTube has monetization, Vidme is not quite sure what this term means. As Geek Wisdom, my channel was monetized, meaning I earned a portion of the ad revenue from my videos. Seems simple, right? Not to Vidme. When I first joined Vidme, they allowed creators to verify their channels with complete ease. You have an existing channel on YouTube or Vimeo? Super - now you're verified! I think their requirements have gotten a little more stringent since then, but that is neither here nor there. In order to be "monetized" on Vidme, you had to first be verified. What does monetization on Vidme entail, you may ask? Well, it does not mean "monetization" in the strictest definition. Or any definition. It means you can now beg for tips from people watching your videos. Of course this system has its flaws, such as why would someone pay you for something that was free five minutes ago, and that they are not obligated to do? 

As you can imagine this topic is rich in the bullcrap, so I will not make you read a novella to get to the entertaining video link at the bottom. Join me tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of the much-anticipated match between Batman and Superman!!!

Thursday, 15 June 2017


If you know the woman in this picture, you are probably smiling already. If you don't, you really need to. This is "Tammy", and she is the creation of comedian Chelcie Lynn. Tammy has become something of a Vine sensation over the past couple of years. She is rude and crude, but she tells it like it is - whether you wanted to know or not. Chelcie Lynn has another character as well named Patricia, but no one could hold a candle to Tammy.

Chelcie Lynn is quite obviously from the South and she really plays that up as much as possible. I have seen videos such as how to create a redneck bubble bath, or the redneck version of "what's in my bag?" And I gotta say, it is incredible how much she gets in there. I think one of the best things about the character of Tammy is that she is not taking potshots at anyone else - just Tammy. And maybe it's because I'm a smoker, I don't know - I just love seeing that cigarette dangling between her lips in practically every video.

And it's easy to find Trailer Trash Tammy's videos and vines if you want to - she is all over the place. I am not doing this write-up because we are pals or anything (we don't  know each other), but for the simple reason that we all need a little laughter from time to time that is a little risque without being offensive. Chelcie Lynn toes that line like a pro. My opinion is not based in any way on the fact that she's a big girl - but it doesn't hurt. Somehow with Tammy, that's the least of her issues.

Wednesday, 14 June 2017


Now I do not always have the purest of motives, but I can admit when that's the case. This video reached over 38.1 million views in just a little over two weeks on YouTube. Being a creator myself and never having reached even a fraction of that recognition - yeah, I really wanted to vomit. Then I watched the video, and I have to agree with most of YouTube. This. Song. Sucks.

And yes, you are reading it correctly - significantly more thumbs-downs than thumbs-ups. This can be attributed to a couple of things. First, it's just not a great song. But the guy is like 20 years old so I think people could give him a break there. It's not like he's going to write lyrics about his hard life on the streets. He looks more like someone who would be on a commercial for Pizza Pockets. 

And I am sure that jealousy plays a part in this whole circus. I can only speak for myself for certain, and I know I may never hit the heights that this kid managed to reach his first time out. But would I want to trade places with him? Absolutely not. He could release tracks for 30 years and never achieve that level of success again. And as much as I feel I am growing as a creator, I know there is always another rung to climb on the ladder of success. But for a 20 year-old guy who just reached 38 million views and stands at the top of that ladder, it's a hell of a long way down. 

Tuesday, 13 June 2017


Ever been so lost in math class you don't even know what question to ask the teacher even if they weren't trying to finish a sudoku at their desk? Well, that's how I feel about My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. More specifically, that's how I feel about bronies. The answers I have found online all boil down to this: "Well, I started watching it and I liked it. It's about friendship and magic." Gee, thanks. Another one of the eternal mysteries of the universe solved during a cringe compilation.

That answer did not cut it for me, so I watched a documentary on the subject. I am really cheap when it comes to purchasing movies or documentaries online. This is not a good thing. What I ended up doing was watching one-fifth of a documentary (aka the upper lips and chins). They interviewed bronies who tried to explain what the fascination was, but it was the chins who actually voiced characters and were responsible for creating the series that made the most sense. And what I learned was this: I don't need a full explanation. I don't even know these people. And even if they want to watch snow when the cable goes out, it's none of my nevermind.

Also, these folks seem quite harmless. In retrospect it seems silly to demand answers from them. The world can be a negative and hurtful place. And if these young people have found a ray of sunshine in the rubbish tip, who am I to piss on their party? Below is the video version of this journey of mine, where I am perplexed using totally different words. It would be a shame to miss it.

Sunday, 11 June 2017


Do you enjoy playing Grand Theft Auto V but find yourself wanting to take a break from the crime and violence? Do you just want to sit and have some time to yourself like you would in real life? Do you want to see how it would feel to be lazy on a virtual level? Well, look no further. Here at the Tanya Mills School Of GTA V Gameplay we will show you how to do just that. And you get your first lesson free which begins - oh, maybe now.

In real life you may get hooked on a TV show or two. So why not get hooked as a virtual character in GTA V? My personal recommendation would be Jack Howitzer. He was a movie star in the 80s, went to prison (something involving a baby that may or may not have resembled a chicken) but now he is back and he's ready to be a movie star again. Or a television star. Or anything like he was in the 80s - a tough, macho guy who killed foreigners "just because". And now he has a sock puppet he calls Ho Chi Sock, so that's a huge bonus right there. Obviously, there's not a new episode every week, but the shows on TV in our reality don't usually vary too much from week to week. And Jack has enough charisma to keep things interesting. Especially if you don't have the best short-term memory.

Who wants to get some new clothes? You know you do! So why not hit the shops and try on some new duds? GTA V features an almost-unnecessary variety of jackets, pants, shirts, whatever you need. And you might as well take your time trying stuff on. Especially if you've already watched Jack Howitzer that day. What are you rushing home for??

And why not get tatted up while you are at it? You can essentially cover your entire body in tattoos without the pesky pain or aftercare of a real tattoo. And you have a lot of money, so you may as well go for it. And study that tattoo list carefully. You don't want to make a mistake. 

Look - you've made it back in time for Fame Or Shame, which should have been called Simon Cowell's Gonna Sue Somebody. And how could you get bored of hearing contestant William Angio sing "This Is A Power Ballad"? Or listen to fake Simon Cowell insult fake Ryan Seacrest? Might as well settle in. I hear it's a good episode of Jack Howitzer today.